The Backyard Cook: Grill Sergeant

Ever seen a Lexus ad with a fifth grader behind the wheel? A Real Housewife photographed shopping at Job Lots? Fox News’ Jeannine Pirro when she didn’t sound as if she’s just knocked back two sidecars?

A single TV ad for a backyard barbecue featuring a woman manning the grill?

It’s weird how many men who feel burdened just sliding two Eggos in a toaster somehow vie to become the local pitmaster of the universe once the sundown goes past 8pm. Perhaps grilling’s macho branding stems from its initial popularity in the 1950s, when one was forced to handle a heavy bag of gets-on-everything charcoal, but that image’s now as cemented in our consciousness as drinking rosé like water in August.

However, grilling isn’t as carefree as it appears, especially for people who haltingly make their way around the kitchen. There’s more to its mastery than simply sear-it-flip-it-serve-it. So, before offering you recipes for al fresco cheffing, it’s essential to know and apply the following steps before you don that apron boasting, “My meat is going in your mouth today” (available on Etsy).

You char what you eat. So shop smart. Buy better. Grilling is usually less complicated than braising, sautéing and roasting, so the quality of what you put on your cooking grates is key. A chuck steak makes a great pot roast, but it sure won’t taste like a porterhouse, no matter how you marinate it. Cellophane wrapped corn from Sam’s Club tastes mainly like the butter you put on it. Saving money while sacrificing taste is a bad bargain. One of the great advantages of where we live is easy access to fresh, superior quality meats, fish, fruits and vegetables thanks to local farms and purveyors. Take advantage of them. 

Take whatever is going to get cooked out of the fridge at least 40 mins before putting it on the grill. Cold meat and fish will stick like it’s been Gorilla-glued to the grates.

Do not put anything on the grill until it has reached the desired temperature. Leave at least one grill off, or heated at a much lower temp for items that grill faster than others.

Do not put anything on the grates if they haven’t been cleaned. The best time to do this would be after the previous grilling when they’re still hot. But you must do this before cooking time.

Have the right tools

• A grill brush (Recommended: Grill Rescue is a brush that uses steam. grillrescue.com)

• Long tongs so you don’t sear your hands over the burners

• A large sturdy spatula, for flipping fish and soft vegetables

• A meat thermometer. Unless you’re Steven Raichlen, don’t trust poking at the chops with your fingers

• A perforated pan for cooking vegetables. Less likely to fall through the grates

• A long brush for applying marinade and extra olive oil

• Cooking spray. Optional if the chemical components bug you. But it does make things easier 

• Don’t use bare fingers or a dish towel. Get a thermal cooking glove 

• Keep them all clean. Keep them all handy in your grill’s storage area 

• Use a baking sheet with a grate over it for when you take meat and fish off the burners and need them to rest before slicing.

• A dull or cheap blade can easily destroy your grillmanship. Invest in a good, non-serrated slicing knife

Regardless of whether you used a prior wet marinade, a dry rub or nothing, season your meats and fish once they are room temperature with salt and pepper right before placing on the grill, using double the amount of salt. Promise you won’t be oversalting it. Much of it burns off. 

Once you put the meat or fish on the grill, do not move it. Leave it be until it’s time to flip it over. A good sear is not only essential, your protein is less likely to stick to the grates.

Cook your protein 2/3 on one side, 1/3 on the other.

All you need for perfect grilled veggies is a brush with olive oil, salt and pepper and a squeeze of lemon once they are slightly charred. That’s it. If you want to add pesto or chimichurri, fine, but it’s not necessary. Grilling veggies and fruits brings out their natural sweetness. 

When your meat or fish is done, move it to the baking tray with the grate over it, put tin foil on top if you wish, and let it set for ten minutes to bring the juices out. Vegetables can be eaten right off the grill, so put them on toward the end of the protein’s grilling time.

While the meat is resting, clean your grill. 

Before you serve your deliciousness, make sure you turn off all the burners. Enjoy your meal. Let someone else do the dishes. Inside.